Chapter 200 - Nine Nights (3)
The eighth night is full of stories about our child.
On one side, I'm curious to hear from him. On the other, I can feel Alexander's desperate tone.
He wants to meet our son again.
But then, why did he destroy our future together?
The way Alexander describes the little bun with incredible blue eyes makes me smile a couple of times. He talks a lot, so much that his throat becomes sore somewhen late into the night.
I just lie next to him, my head on his chest and my eyes half-closed. It's so relaxing. I could listen to him for hours without getting tired. His proud smirk and shining eyes are so inspiring.
Will he talk like this about our child too?
On the ninth night, finally, I hear the rest.
It's painful, but certainly not worse than what Alexander feels. He cries while telling me about our last banquet.
There isn't any real choice, so I just listen and wipe his tears away with my sleeves. When they become drenched, I offer Alexander my shoulder, and he hugs me tightly while sobbing.
I guess dying is quite traumatic.
But what bugs me the most is that he had to live with it for his whole existence. He couldn't talk it out with anyone. He couldn't ask for comfort from anyone before.
He didn't have a shoulder to lean on up to now. I can't leave him alone, he doesn't deserve to suffer alone. Not after he decided to tell me about everything.
You silly,? I sigh. ?You should have told me immediately. I would have found a way to avoid dying like that without losing my crown. There was no need to be this extreme!?
Would you have believed me??
I'm believing you now,? I point out. Why does he think Queen Theodora wouldn't?
It would have been nice to grow up into the woman Alexander loves so much.
At least, I now understand why you can't stand my uncle,? I sigh.
Alexander just nods. His clench becomes slightly tighter when I mention the Ambassador, but he doesn't add any word to his reaction.
I can't say his antipathy is excessive. If my uncle really poisoned my whole court, then I have to watch my back more attentively from now on.
I can forgive you, my dear,? I exclaim while caressing his hair.
What?? he mumbles. For once, he doesn't insist on his innocence and good intentions.
Let me be the one to make decisions next time.?
Are you pretending to believe you have control over me?? he whispers, rubbing his nose on my neck. ?Are you that calculative, Thea??
I pinch his arm with all the strength in my fingers, but he doesn't flinch.
You are manipulative!? I remind him. ?I'm naive and innocent.?
Hearing his story has tired me out completely, but I don't think that sleeping right now is a wise idea.
I don't want those dreams again, not after knowing how the story is going to end.
If it weren't for the images in my head, I wouldn't have believed him. It's too crazy, and I have never heard about something like living twice before.
I will be more careful this time,? I reassure him.
It's my duty to protect you, Thea. This time, I have the power to do so.?
You're an idiot.?
I'm sorry.?
Do you even have a plan to achieve my forgiveness??
Yes, of course. I will first save Ethiro from collapse. And then I'll give you back what's rightfully yours, by any means. Polis will be safe only if Ethiro is powerful. Asteria won't dare to attack in that case.?
They waited for the Empire's total collapse, indeed. And how are you going to do it? By pretending to be an enemy of the crown? So that all the other enemies reveal their faces to you??
Hmm? No, of course not,? he says while shaking his head. ?Why do you think so??
Because you're letting his majesty treat you like trash without fighting back. You're so loyal and calm that you either are already plotting a coup, or you have a plan about it.?
What if I'm plotting??
Oh, I'll help you. First of all, you can't keep your face straight when his majesty takes away something from you. It's highly suspicious. Second, you need to get in contact with the second most interested person.?
Who could that person be?? Alexander asks me while lying down. He pulls me down with him, and I turn on the side to face him.
I know who isn't the right person to ask. I'm not familiar with the Empire's dynamics yet, but I'll figure it out by the end of next summer.?
I don't like the idea to put you in danger.?
Oh, I already am in danger.?
At least until I receive news from my uncle. Oh, damn it! I have to make sure Alexander doesn't burn the missive before I have time to read it.
Why do you believe me, Thea??
Shouldn't I??
I'm not really crazy. I don't ask you to believe that it's all true and that it will turn out to be genuine. Not yet, at least. Your reaction is weird, Thea. It's not believable.?
Indeed,? I sigh. ?I haven't accepted your story yet. But I can't refuse it so fast either. If for nothing else, because you're convinced about everything you told me.?
Which version would you hate more: the one where I'm right, and this is indeed our second life or the other one? Where I'm just a crazy bastard that made up a story for some reason, and then he believed it.?
No, you're not a crazy bastard. You're not lying, Alexander.?
I'm sorry, Thea. For everything. I really wish I had remembered earlier. I could have prepared some plan to prevent everything that happened to Polis. I could have fortified Ethiro from within, but I didn't care one bit back then.?
Hmm, sure...?
I only wanted to meet you. Nothing else.?
I want to hear about your second life too, Alexander. You only told me about the first.?
It was interesting to listen to and all, but I already dreamt about it. I didn't know what I was seeing, but it was definitely that.
Oh, if my dreams come from Alexander's memories, then I'm not a pervert! I'm not making up things to satisfy any weird need of my perverse conscience.
I will believe you until I find a better option.?
Alexander blinks, confused by my sudden declaration.
What kind of better option??
Hmm? Nothing, nothing,? I chuckle. ?Let's get back at bringing down the Emperor. Do you have any plans??
If I wanted the throne, I would have taken it. I was a day away from that.?
I know. But the enemies of the crown didn't run to you after the day I was brought to the capital, did they??
That's true.?
It's because you're not trustworthy for them.?
Then what should we do??
We?? I repeat, surprised. Is he really letting me do something?
All right,? he sighs. ?You make the decisions, and I fight the bad guys. Is that acceptable??
We should decide together.?
Are you even able to share your plans with me??
Of course!?
Then, why don't you tell me what you have been talking about with Zolokis??
I asked for a favour. A friend of mine is without a husband at the age of seventeen. Yet, she's such a good girl that I can't understand how she hasn't found one yet. I wanted to use my international contacts to help her!?
Are you going to succeed??
I must already have succeeded. I'm just waiting for confirmation.?
You don't have any doubt that the Ambassador will follow your suggestions.?
I'm useful in this position. My uncle won't try killing me because I have half a claim on the throne. If anything happened to the Emperor, I would become Empress.?
I can accept such an explanation. Don't lower your guard, though.?
Of course not. However, once the lady is married off, I will be more useful alive than dead. Right now, Duke Grahm is trying to have his daughters married to both the contenders to the throne.?
I'm not a contender.?
I know it,? I sigh, rolling my eyes.
I know that very well, but the Grahms apparently don't.
Or they don't care about Alexander's plans. Maybe, they just want to ensure their position.
After she's out of the picture, a prisoner wife is better than an influential alternative,? Alexander realises. ?I should have thought of it earlier!?
I need your sister, the Princess's help. Alone, I can't force the Grahm's elder granddaughter to travel to Asteria.?
All right. Martia will surely help you.?
And I have to keep the Emperor's hand free for a while more.?
Are you planning to divorce and marry him?? Alexander inquires.
Even though his tone is ironic, his face is dark. He doesn't like the words he said even while joking.
He's dumb.
No, I'm not. I'll just keep his majesty free so that the Grahms think they stand a chance to settle their second girl with him.?
Aren't you afraid that his majesty ends up accepting their offer??
Oh, royals don't get married within their borders unless there are valid reasons. In this case, there aren't. The girl is from an influential family. The marriage would enforce their power. His majesty won't risk losing any link to Kyre just like that. You're still more relevant. Your people like you more than they like the Emperor. If anything goes wrong, Kyre would be the first part of the Empire to abandon a sinking ship.?
In my first life, Kyre stayed till the end. Martia obtained some kind of autonomy in exchange for the promise to stay.?
This time, it will be different. It already is. If the Lord of Kyre isn't respected enough, the people won't allow the imperial family to rule over here.?
Are you sure??
I've passed weeks reading about your home's history. It tends to repeat itself, so let's not overthink it. His majesty won't marry the Grahm girl while I have a saying into it. And it just happens that I'm not dead yet.?
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