Chapter 126 - Sleepless Nights
During the night, I manage to sleep for a few hours. It's probably thanks to my body's tiredness, but I close my eyes soon after putting my head on the pillow. I don't even look for Alexander's warmth, this time.
I barely sense his strong arms pulling me in his embrace, and his hot lips pecking mine in a short, chaste kiss. When I wake up, in the middle of the night, I find myself clinging on my husband shamelessly.
I don't dare to move, fearing that it would alert this unmistakeable warrior at my side. Also, he's so comfortable to lean on.
I've had so many dreams during such a short time, but I don't remember any of them. Luckily, because my stomach tells me it wasn't anything that would make me happy.
I just remember a pair of sapphire eyes, the colour of the sea. Not my eyes, though, mine are of a way lighter shade. I've forgotten the most relevant part of the whole dream, some detail that would have made me even more frightened than I already am.
I hate nightmares. The weird dreams with my invented lover are way more agreeable.
When morning comes, I'd just die to get some proper sleep. Unfortunately, it's not an option. I don't know how to come back from the other side.
Tonight, you'll drink two cups of chamomile,? Alexander breathes in my ear. He's already awake, what a surprise.
What are you talking about, this early in the morning? Have you had a bad dream??
I should be the one asking, Thea. You don't sleep at night, that's not good.?
It will pass,? I shrug.
I can't continue too long without sleeping. Exhaustion will win, eventually.
When did it start??
After the assassin entered?the Lady's office,? I confess. ?I managed to sleep a little, some nights. Like, yesterday, I've slept for hours! It's getting better.?
Your eyebags and pale face aren't getting better.?
Well, thank you. You always know how to cheer up your wife.?
I'm serious, Thea. I'm worried about you.?
You don't need to worry,? I mutter coldly.
Mhm, you're right... Worry won't solve anything.?
Then, what are you planning to do?
It's better to take action immediately.?
What are you going to do??
Starting the operation: exhaust wife.?
What? Now?
His lips land on my neck, and I gasp annoyed.
You can't solve everything like this, Alexander!?
Not everything,? he agrees, without even parting from me. He leans his left arm next to my head, blocking me under him.
I just turn to check his hand. His palm is up, and my Duke's weight is all on his elbow. The bandage is clean and dry, which is a good sign.
While I was checking his health, he didn't waste time.
His mouth is now on the cleavage of the nightgown. His teeth clench the ribbon keeping everything in place, and he unties it mercilessly.
He knows it drives me crazy when he does this, I'm sure of it.
This is fool play: this Duchess was trying to act like an adult, for once!
Are you sure that straining a person that doesn't sleep will help them?? I tease, moving my fingers on his face.
As if struck by lightning, Alexander stops teasing me, and he lies back obediently.
Sorry,? he whispers. He hugs me tightly and pecks my temple. ?I'll find a better way to help you.?
I don't need help, it's fine like this. This Duchess won't suffer for something as stupid as lack of sleep.
I will be more considerate, from now on,? my Duke mutters while rubbing my back.
I don't need to rest that much,? I reply. Even if I would kill for such an opportunity, I can't let him win so easily.
Regardless, you'll sleep all day.?
You can't just order me to sleep, Alexander!?
First of all, calm down. If you continue to disturb your mind, you won't be able to relax. Second, don't think about anything. Not about the assassin; nor the weird things that attracted your attention; not even what are we going to eat for breakfast. I prohibit you from using your brain.?
I can't stop thinking, just to make you happy.?
You can try. Hmm, focus on something that makes you lower your guard.?
I'm hungry.?
That's not the result I was looking for.?
It's not my problem. Are you going to starve me? I can't sleep if I don't eat.?
Uh, that could actually work,? he ponders.
He leaves the bed and walks to the door. He opens it just for a minute, the time to command the maids. He then reaches the chimney and stokes the fire.
He returns to me only when the food arrives.
I sit in the bed, trying to figure out how serious are my Duke's motives. What is he trying to do?
Well, if his intention is to pamper me for a day, I can accept it.
He sits by my side and opens his arms wide. I stare at him for a whole minute before giving up and accepting his embrace. After all, food is on the other side. I ought to bypass this man if I want it.
I eat in silence, without really feeling anything. It's just a mechanical act needed to survive.
Only after a while, I remember that my Duke is incapacitated. His left hand is bandaged, and the cloth has to stay clean. The right one is caressing my back with slow, rhythmical movements. He can't eat like this.
On top of that, I have to peel some fruits for him. He can't do it with the only hand he is currently using to soothe me.
I cut an apple in slices, and then I peel it trying to waste as little as possible. After the second slice, though, I renounce. I'm not good at this, and I don't usually peel apples when I'm eating some.
I feed my Duke the raw slices, and he doesn't complain. Uh, how convenient!
I continue cutting the fruits, and, after a while, a smile appears on my face. I don't know when, because I wasn't paying any attention to myself.
Do you want some eggs too?? I ask. ?You need energies as well...?
Without carefully considering the pros and cons, I launch myself into meticulously dipping the bread in the egg yolk. Eggs are tastier eaten this way, right?
When Alexander's tongue licks the fluid on my fingers before munching the bread, I don't really have the right to complain. It was my idea. I asked for it.
Also, I can't just back down now. I mean, I do the same when I eat soft-boiled eggs and there's no witnesses around to see this shameless act. I lick my fingers too.
I reach out for a second slice of bread. I put more efforts in not showing my emotions than in preparing the food.
Why does it feel so different when my Duke does to me the same things I do to myself?
Even his fingers that pass through my hair aren't the same. My hand doesn't make me quiver like this when I comb my locks before sleeping.
The second bite of bread and omelette is almost fatal. This time, I know what to expect. I can't count on the surprise effect anymore.
Alexander insists more than before, and I surprise myself staring at him in a daze.
Is there any problem?? he inquires, noticing that I broke.
I shake my head and focus back on what's relevant. Food, my Duke, vegetables for his health... He won't even notice what he's eating, right now.
Hmm, yeah, everything seems all right with my brain.
You were right,? I say, just to avoid the silence. Distractions are welcome, in this situation.
I'm almost always right, wife. Be more precise.?
After eating, I feel like I can sleep.?
Oh, is that the effect I'm causing, right now??
Yes, it is.?
He chuckles, and his eyes shine with amusement. He tosses the platter on the bedside table.
Oh, this feels somehow dangerous.
Am I that boring?? he continues.
No, you're not,? I shrug. ?But this Duchess indeed is tired. Will you really watch over me while I sleep??
Doesn't that creep you out, Thea??
I haven't considered this yet. Being watched while sleeping is a bit... Uncomfortable? Well, being watched in any situation isn't a piece of cake. However, I haven't even thought about this as a problem when it's my Duke.
Not really. It's all right. As long as you don't do anything to the sleeping me.?
I'm not an animal.?
So, there isn't anything to fear, right? I'm safe, by your side.?
Also, it's not like I would be able to stand my ground against that killer even if I was awake. It's irrational and useless, this instinct of mine.
Correct,? Alexander nods. His reassuring expression is the fakest I've ever seen.
My shoulders tremble, trying to hide laughter.
I lean my head on his chest and close my eyes. There's nothing I can do anyway, so I might as well rest for a bit. I'm not even trying to fall asleep. I'll lie here and relax.
An hour or so. It won't take me long...
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