Chapter 352: I Live For My Goddess Now
"Yes. It shouldn't be a surprise to you that Qingchen and I have a prenuptial agreement."
Qian Meng watched her carefully for a reaction.
"It's not surprising," Yize responded. "Most people in our circle have it. It's nothing much. The fact that you love him… That my brother is capable of that… I just… didn't expect it," she said.
"Are you that surprised?" Qian Meng asked.
"Not at all," Yize answered, giving her a reassuring smile.
Although everything had gotten off to an awkward start, the night ended up being amazing. For the first time, she was enjoying hanging out with a friend. They ate pizza and watched movies and talked about their problems.
It was the first time both of them let things go, and the results gave both of them hope for the future. Someday, they would be best friends again.
When Mo Qingchen texted her to let her know the plane had landed, she answered him back with reassurance that Yize and her were doing well. She was surprised by the relief it gave her.
- - - - -
The next morning, she skipped around until Mo Yize left. She had barely had any sleep. The thought of Mo Qingchen filled her mind constantly when she was not talking.
She wanted to keep his promise and wait until no one was around, so she didn't open the gift he had left her.
She thought about stretching the truth and opening it in the bathroom but ultimately decided against it. She wanted to wait for the excitement of opening it when she was completely alone and consumed by thoughts of his.
Therefore, as soon as Yize had left, she practically jumped to her bedroom to get the little box. She sat on the bed as she tore the paper open, revealing a small velvet box. She frowned at it. Was it more jewelry? Mo Qingchen said that he hadn't spent money.
Unable to wait any longer, she opened the box hungrily. To her surprise, a small piece of paper fell out into her lap. That was it. There was nothing else in the box. Just a small piece of paper.
Curiously, she picked it up and unfolded it. She took notice that the paper was thick and brown. The edges were worn as if ripped out from a book. Her heart leaped in her chest when she thought she understood what she was looking at.
At least, she hoped.
The first thing that caught her eye was the date. Written at the top corner. It was in Mo Qingchen's writing and it was their first night in Hong Kong. A quick scan of the page confirmed what she knew in her gut.
It was a page from a journal. Mo Qingchen's journal. Where he poured his thoughts and heart out. And he had gifted her a glimpse into it.
This was the best gift she had ever received.
Her eyes scanned hungrily. She was nearly out of her mind in anxiety at the thought of what she had chosen to share with her. This was what the page said:
[Today, I realized that I am happy to be alive. I don't need to hide in the shadows, lie and be sure that I am a soulless monster. On one hand, I struggle with the feeling of being the betrayer. I have devoted my existence to the existence of reclusion and self-imposed atonement of my sins. Today, I am scared… more than anything that I will lose the only thing keeping me alive. And I have only just found it.
My heart beats passionately in my chest. I have found my path and every moment I get closer to a destination I didn't know I intended to reach.
I am betraying everything I have known. I betray my demons with the truth and the lies, the awareness that I am slaying my demons one after another.
I betray them simply by being with her. She slays them in my stead and she does it as she sleeps here beside me.
I am free. I am no longer imprisoned in my guilt. She is my goddess and I live for her now. My cold heart is no longer confined. I feel it beat now. I feel the heat of my blood pumping through my veins. I am alive.
I have a place in the world. With her.
My wife.]
Qian Meng stopped breathing.
She needed to go.
She needed to go to him, to be with him.
Qian Meng didn't even know how long she sat there on the bed, reading and re-reading that piece of paper.
Over and over again.
She read the whole thing. And then, when she was near memorizing it, she skimmed over it and let the most gut-wrenching parts pop out at her.
'The only thing keeping me alive.'
'I have a place in the world with her.'
Her heart never stopped racing. His words were beautiful. And the word beautiful didn't even seem like an adequate enough word, but she couldn't come up with a better one to describe it.
Mo Qingchen had managed to give her the best gift on the planet and nothing could ever top it. He had given his unreserved thoughts and feelings, right there on a piece of paper.
When he wrote it, he probably didn't think that anyone would ever read it. He had written those words as an outlet for his emotions. Ones that he didn't quite understand. And that fact made them all the more astonishing.
Each and every word shattered the little bubble she was in. But the last few lines had got her. He had a home now. With her.
Could he have been any more dramatic than that? She had been afraid to tell him her feelings, but he had blown it all out of the world. Telling him she loved him seemed nothing in comparison to the utter ardor that rang through every single word he had jotted down. He had spilled his heart out and shown it to her.
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