Chapter 333: Beyond All Reason and Practicality
"Are you sure?" His concern was touching. He was really worried about her and she couldn't deny that it was a nice feeling to know someone cared about her so much.
"Do you dream about him often? I have never heard you talk in your sleep before."
She shook her head. "No, I don't. In fact, I haven't dreamt of him in a while. I guess he had been on my mind after talking about everything."
He looked gutted. "I hate that he was on your mind even in your sleep." He sighed. "I'm not going to ask you what happened in your dream. I don't think I want to know."
"You probably don't. You would be reckless if you did," she said firmly. "I don't want you to imagine that. It's in my past."
"But you haven't dealt with it. You have never told anyone. You've never talked about it to anyone."
"I told you!"
He looked at her for a long moment, almost hesitantly.
"I think you should consider going to talk to someone. You know, a professional. Someone who knows the right things to say," he told her.
"Therapy?"
He nodded. "I think I might need it too. Neither of us is really dealing with our emotions in a healthy manner. And I don't want our relationship to be sour."
She looked skeptical. "How will it do us any good? How are we going to talk about events that never happened in this timeline to a medical professional? Do I say that I was killed by a husband I never had in this world?" she asked.
"It's not just that, is it? We can spin it in any way we want. That's not all our issues, right?"
She nodded. "I'll think about it. Maybe if we go together."
His expression softened a bit as he looked at her. "Good."
"In the meantime, can you not think about it?"
He sighed and looked away, over towards the window.
"What?" she prompted.
"I am trying to think of how to word what it is that I am trying to express." She waited for him. It felt like an eternity until he looked back at her with a thoughtful expression.
"The way I feel about you is foreign to me. But it's strong. It bypasses all reason and practicality and it makes me nervous because, for the first time in a long time, I am not in complete control. I know this huge thing about you and it's hard for me not to constantly think about it. It sickens me to think about it, yet I keep wondering about every detail."
"I don't want you to think about it," she protested.
"Some of it, I am not sure I want to know."
She swallowed. He was right about that.
"You can ask me whatever you want. I will answer truthfully. But only ask me what you want to know, okay?"
He nodded.
"Nothing changes in the morning, okay?" she emphasized. He looked confused. "This was been one of the best few days of my life," she said in a rush. "I didn't know I could feel so close to someone, much less you. It felt like I don't feel whole without you."
He looked at her intently for a long moment before he responded. When he did, he spoke softly. "You discovered a part of yourself that you didn't know existed."
It made sense to her. "I think so." She knew exactly which part it was. "You."
His eyes shimmered. He opened his mouth to speak a few times but then he closed it again as if contemplating what to say.
"I know the feeling," he finally settled. "I don't understand what it is yet. And nothing is going to be different in the morning. I am sorry if I gave you that impression."
Qian Meng blinked a few times, suddenly shaken from her realization. "Oh! That's not what I meant. I want to hold on to the feeling of happiness. Things in our past are difficult for us. And it's totally killing my buzz."
"I see," he answered, a smile spreading across his lips.
Suddenly, he was standing and coming at her with a devious smirk on his beautiful face. She looked up at him in anticipation.
She yelped in surprise when he scooped her up into her arms and held her like a sack of potato.
She squealed, wriggling in his arms as she tried to steady herself. "What are you doing?"
He hushed her with a throaty chuckle.
"Mo Qingchen!" She was intrigued as he walked to the other side of the bed. What did he want to do? She wasn't opposed to anything. But they had a flight to catch later on.
Her heart fluttered in anticipation as he tossed her down on the bed so that she bounced a couple of times and then just when she had braced herself for mischief, he backed off.
She didn't even have a chance to look up at him before he was pulling up the sheets and covering her. He covered her up until the top of her head. She started to yank it back, but he held it down firmly.
"Get this off me. Are you trying to strangle me?" she asked, but her words were muffled to him.
"Stop moving and close your eyes."
"What?"
"Just do it," he coaxed.
She sighed and brought her arms down until they were at her sides and then closed her eyes.
"Are they closed?" he inquired.
"Yes."
There was silence for a few moments and then he cleared his throat. The sheet was slowly peeled away from her face and down her body. The gust of air gave her a chill. She kept her eyes closed, obeying Mo Qingchen's order, even as she felt him leaning down over her. Then she felt his lips against her forehead and she couldn't help but smile.
"Awake?" he said softly as he pulled away.
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