Chapter 309: Spouting Lines From A Script
That made Qian Meng smile. "Good thing you're not wearing any pants then."
He turned around and chuckled as he went over to the bed to lay down beside Qian Meng.
"Is it weird to be sleeping in a different bed?" he asked suddenly.
She turned the television off and scooted over to give him more room.
"I lived in hotels all along, so I didn't think I could feel strange living anywhere. But it seems… I do feel like I need to find my place all over again."
He gave her a confused look. "What do you mean?"
"Everything has changed for me and so much has happened. At the same time, everything is the same. I just have to find my footing again. I have been leaning too heavily on you and it's detrimental to how I identify myself."
Mo Qingchen thought about that for a moment. "That makes sense. You went from being wildly independent to having me around all the time. It all happened really suddenly, too."
"I'll figure it out. I need to find a balance between having you backing me up and still being independent," she told him. "That's my mission now."
"At least you don't have to get used to sleeping alone again," he teased.
"Shut up," she said as she nudged him with her foot. "You like sharing your bed with me. I know that."
He laughed. "Most of the time. But you hoard the blankets."
"You take up the whole bed and you cuddle too much. It's an even trade," she countered.
"Whatever you say," he laughed. His smile dropped and he became really serious. "I want to talk to you."
"I don't like the sound of that. What about?" he asked.
"How are you feeling?"
She raised her brow. "That's what you want to know?"
"It's only been a few days. But we need to talk."
He wanted to talk about her being scared out of her mind?
"Mo Qingchen… I don't need to talk about it."
He sighed. "Of course, you need to talk about it. I have not pushed you about it but I can see you looking at everything twice. When we spoke today, I could see that you have a lot of fear and issues with trust. And I understand that. You need to talk to someone about it."
"I don't want those things to be constantly on my mind. That's all," she responded.
"Sure. But it isn't healthy to bury your issues and not address them," Mo Qingchen countered.
"Isn't that what we do best?" she asked. He was quiet for a moment. He knew she was accusing him of doing the same thing.
"Okay. We need to keep the conversation to one problem right now. God knows we have a lot of issues to solve between us. It would take us all night to talk about them."
Qian Meng frowned. "And it's okay to talk about it as long as I am the one doing it?" she asked.
She instantly regretted saying it. She knew her words were unwarranted. After all, she had told him to take his time.
The fact that he didn't answer made her feel even worse. He had been amazing to her and she kept refusing to let him in. She even went back on her words to give him space.
She wondered if he would get sick of the push and pull and stop trying. She didn't realize it then, but through this, Mo Qingchen was slowly proving to her that she could trust him. That she could lean on him without completely losing her independence.
"I'm sorry," she said immediately.
"It's fine. You clearly don't want to talk about it and I am not going to push you," he swore.
She didn't want to jeopardize what they had.
"I'm sorry. I am not ready to talk about it just yet. Can we do it some other time?" she asked. "And I am sorry for being impatient."
Mo Qingchen pressed his lips together. "We have apologized to each other more times than someone in customer service does in a month." He grumbled.
Qian Meng wrapped her hand around him and pulled him closer. "Let's not push each other into talking about anything that is going to make us cry. We just need to know that when we want to talk about these things, the other will be there to listen. I'll hold you if you want to cry."
She added the last bit in.
Mo Qingchen nodded. "I'll let you know if I want to cry."
Qian Meng had a contemplative moment. "I am starting to realize that I trust you." And that was a big thing for her who was scared of trusting and giving others power over her.
"I've never trusted anyone other than myself, really. I trust you, too." He pulled back a little and lifted her chin to look up at him. "I won't take your trust lightly," he vowed.
"I hope not. I will smack you otherwise," she warned him.
"Yes. Didn't I promise to take care of you for the rest of my life? I will do it."
Qian Meng's heart fluttered.
"Promises are binding but I won't hold you to it if that is not what you want," Qian Meng said out of the blue. "You don't need to be loyal because of a promise."
Yes, it was sweet and praiseworthy for a man to keep his promise, but she didn't want it to be an obligation for him.
"I don't feel loyalty to you because I made a promise. I made the promise because I already felt loyal to you." His voice was low.
"Do you get your lines from a scriptwriter?" she asked, slightly in awe.
He pursed his lip and gave her a look of warning. It all melted away into deep concentration in the next second. Qian Meng knew he was going to say something important, right then.
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