It only took a moment for Marisha's words to enter my ears and it also took the same time before my body relaxed as I let go of her hand. After that, I just felt myself lying down on my back and as soon as my head made contact with something soft, my eyelids never felt so heavy.
My vision started to blur before I closed my eyes shut, and I heard muffled thumps and garbled voices echoing all around me. However, after a few seconds or so… it just became completely silent.
I never felt so light and it was as if I was floating in the air, like I was levitating between the ground and the ceiling, but a piercing pain traveled to my head before a mind-numbing screech followed. I thought my head was gonna fucking explode but it only took a few moments before I heard Marisha's voice that calmed everything down.
"Sky… Relax… I'm gonna be here with you every step of the way…"
"W-Wha– What's happening? W-Why am I–"
"You'll know soon enough… But what I want you to do is to think about that day…"
"Huh? W-What… What day?"
"The first time you had them…your blackouts… tell me about that day…"
"Huh? Didn't I already? I already did… right? Matthew– or even Kaley should've told you that story too…
"They did… but I want to hear it from your mouth… Are you doing okay?"
"What? Oh… Never been so relaxed besides that– Nevermind… Shiiiit… Is this what being high is like? I feel so fucking light– Is this how you made your money? Heh… Just kidding…"
"Wow… I can't–"
"Huh? What d-do you mean by wow?"
"You're mind is really something else… I thought no one could– Nevermind about that… That day, I want to hear it again… Tell me… Tell me as if you've gone back in time… Tell me as if you're in that moment again… Tell me as we're seeing it through your eyes… Moment by moment… Can you do that?"
"I… I guess…"
"Good… let's start from the top then…"
"I… I was in my room… You know… playing games… blasting music… then… our dogs… just barked loudly like they used to… It could be from a car passing through or two people passing by sharing a conversation… if someone or something gets near our house… they just make a lot of noise…"
"And then?"
"I… the guy… the guy broke in from our–"
"No… let's go back…"
"Huh?"
"I told you to tell it as if we're seeing it through your eyes, right?"
"Oh… right… Well… I… heard the noise and g-got annoyed they were so loud so… I turned the volume up a few notches until I could barely hear them… and then… I just continued playing for a few minutes more… until… until I heard a loud noise right outside my room… My… My room is just right next to the door that would lead to our floor so… I assumed it was… was…"
All of a sudden, the pain the screeching noise came back as I tried to struggle, but no matter how many times I tried to move my body, it wouldn't budge. Heck, I can't even do something as easy as opening my eyes and it felt like I was buried several feet under the ground..
"Hngh! AH! F-Fuck! M-My head! MY HEAD FUCKING HURTS! AHHHH!"
"Sky! Listen to me! It's okay! It's okay! I know it hurts but I want you bare through the pain just until you could open your eyes! Can you do that for me?! Can you hear me?!"
"Y-Yes– Agh! I-I-It fucking hurts! I– FUCK!"
"Dear, listen to me! I know it's really hard but that's gonna be the only thing I'm asking you! Just open your eyes! Do you hear me? Just open your eyes! Just– eyes… open… just…"
It felt like my head was being crushed by a heavy roller, and Marisha's voice, which was my only lifeline, faded and faded until I was stuck all alone, hearing nothing but the sound of a door slamming over and over followed by the same screeching sound that was there from the start.
I thought I would pass out from the pain but everything changed when I heard the last slam on the door.
The noises I was currently hearing were completely different but I suddenly heard thoughts from my own head that was from several years ago.
"Great, it's gonna be my fault again for not checking on our fucking dogs… Every fucking time it's the same fucking problem and I get told off or yelled at every fucking time I don't check them…"
'What the fuck…'
"It's not like I was the one who took in every single stray we encountered and didn't even bother teaching them a few tricks, and now, somehow it's my fault for them being noisy all the time…"
'How is this…'
"I do want to take responsibility, I do want to help out, but fuck me! I'm not here to take responsibility for something I didn't do and I'm not here to help out about anything you didn't give a fuck to anymore! I know we're family but I have my own way of taking responsibility and helping out! But what happened when I did that?! I got fucking shut down because it's not my business and the only thing I should be doing is something they feel is beneath them…"
Hearing myself say that, I remember being angry at them because we just had a fight like normal families would from time to time but… I would've wished that happened some other time… and that thing that would happen right after… never did.
The next thing I know, I was seeing my own reflection from my old laptop and I was back in my old room from several years ago. My old self still had a lot of thoughts running through his head but the moment we heard our mom's scream overpowering the noise coming from my room, our thoughts quieted down before it went into shambles, creating fear and panic first before even trying to act on it.
'GET MY TACHI– OUR TACHI! GET OUR– THE FUCK ARE YOU SO STUPID FOR?! DON'T PAUSE THAT FUCKING GAME AND RUN OUTSIDE! RUN OUTSIDE YOU STUPID FUCK!'
I never tried so hard to move my body as I wanted it to but I was there just as a spectator.
I know that this event already replayed in my head multiple times and I know that I couldn't possibly change the outcome by doing this but, I still wanted to try even if it was fucking insanity.
And right when my old self finally reached for our Tachi and rushed to the door, another mind-numbing headache followed but it was stronger. Anyone would've fallen unconscious at this point but it was as if my eyes were being forced to watch everything unfold.
As soon as my old self opened the door, I saw the same person that ruined my life.
He still had this unkempt hair covering his face, only revealing this murderous smile but the only difference was that the blood that was supposed to be leaking out from his body was floating upwards.
It was forming small beads that were slowly covering the ceiling, making a trail from where he came from.
However, it only took a second before it reverted back to how it was and I saw my dad getting stabbed over and over for the millionth time. I could see his face wince every time my mom's knife sinks into his body but what I didn't notice before was that he was more concerned that I barged out of my room.
He was looking at me like he was telling me to go back and lock the doors but like how I currently am, my old self wasn't able to move and do shit.
All I could do was scream at myself.
'MOVE! MOVE! MOVE, YOU DUMB FUCK! PULL YOUR BLADE AND LOP HIS HEAD OFF! DRAG HIM OFF AND CHOP HIS BODY TO PIECES! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!'
I was still screaming at myself before I saw my mom just got back from their room with my dad's gun. She obviously didn't know how to use it and how I wish I could close my eyes.
Every single time I hear the clicking sound was like a dagger to my heart and it was as if I'm internally bleeding.
I saw my mom desperately trying to pull on the trigger with a helpless expression while my dad was trying hard to tell us to hide even if his body had several stab wounds. I even saw him try to grab onto his assailant when that guy saw my mom trying to shoot him, but he was just too powerless to move.
All it took was a simple flick of the wrist before blood gushed out from my mother's throat.
I tried so hard to move my body but the moment their blood got into my eyes, the angel living inside me turned into a demon.
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