I had no idea what I was doing when I climbed into Bai Ye's bed that night.
His room faced the south and was quite a bit warmer than mine, though I still shivered slightly at the coolness of his silk sheets. I rarely felt so cold even in the middle of winter, and this was only the beginning of autumn. The yin power from Twin Stars was strong indeed.
"Come to this side," Bai Ye scooped me up with a sweep of his arm, tucking me under the blanket on his side of the bed. The linens were warm where he lay before, with the lingering scent of cedar and musk. "You should've changed into something thicker," he frowned at my thin summer nightgown and said.
"I'm not that fragile!" I protested for the second time today, but my body only inched closer to him while I spoke, seeking the heat radiating from his skin.
He chuckled and raised my head, resting it on his chest. His arm wrapped behind me in a light embrace. "I know you aren't," he said softly. "But it doesn't hurt to make yourself a little more comfortable."
A faint pulse of power rippled from where we touched, and a soothing warmth enveloped me, slowly erasing all my sores and cramps. I let out a small sigh. He was right, and maybe I was a fragile wimp after all.
Despite the closeness of our bodies, his embrace didn't feel all that intimate. It was more like the way he hugged me when I was a child, filled with fatherly love instead of desire. He meant what he said—we were really just going to sleep, and he wasn't going to … do anything else.
Though this feeling in his arms was strange and unfamiliar now. I wiggled a little uneasily, trying to will the itch inside me into stillness, but my hand moved on its own, resting itself next to my cheek, right above his heart. His steady heartbeat pulsed against my palm, strong and in rhythm with his power flowing through me.
He placed his hand over mine. "Get some sleep, Qing-er. It'll help you recover your strength."
I mumbled an agreement, and for a few minutes, I did try. I closed my eyes and attempted to empty my thoughts, telling myself to be thankful for the comfort and take the pain-free opportunity to get a good night of rest. But every time his chest rose and fell beneath me, every time his scent wafted into my nostrils and the sound of his breathing drifted into my ears … I couldn't help but feel a yearning growing in me, driving all my sleepiness away.
I had never thought that I was the type easily susceptible to temptation, and when I accepted his invitation to come over for the night, I had indeed intended to simply "sleep" like he said. Yet now, lying next to him, the only thing I could think of was his scent, his warmth, and the slight rustle of his night robe against mine.
My self-control was nonexistent. My hand moved under its own will again, rubbing the thin fabric of his robe beneath me. The silk was soft and luxuriously smooth under my fingertips, but lifeless. I craved the texture of his skin.
"Qing-er," he sighed and gripped my hand. "This is not sleep."
"You told me to make myself a little more comfortable," I said almost shamelessly. "I want to be closer to you." My hand continued, slipping out of his grip and through his open collar until the heat of his skin was against my palm.
It was too ironic that the only thing I wanted to do during the day was to stay away from him, and now … the only thing I wanted to do was to hold him and feel him. Even though I still couldn't have what I wanted, at least I could have him next to me and surround me with his warmth like he always did.
My fingers traced over him, following the ridges and dips of his muscles until they came to the bulging scars over his heart. The sight and touch of those marks still gave me tremors every time, but he would never tell me how he got them. I sighed silently, and my hand kept going until my arm was wrapped around him in a snug embrace.
"Comfortable yet?" he asked sarcastically. "Now sleep before I throw you out of my bed."
I chuckled at his utterly unthreatening threat. "You won't throw me out," I said as I gathered him tighter and locked eyes with him. "I will be in so much pain without you … and you won't be able to bear it."
Moonlight was dim tonight, but I could still see an eyebrow shoot up. "I must've been too easy on you these days, Qing-er. If—"
I sealed the rest of his words with a kiss.
I had no idea what I was doing or what had gotten into me, and I could swear that this wasn't what I had in mind when I first lay down in his arms. But I couldn't control myself. His voice, his eyes, his touch, everything about him was like a magnet that pulled me towards him with irresistible force. I couldn't possibly lie still beside him and … do nothing.
He didn't respond to me at first. But his breath was hot against my cheeks, and I knew there was fire within him that he was trying to suppress. I parted his lips with my tongue, pried through his almost clenched teeth, claiming his breath the same way he had always done to mine.
Then he moved. With a swift tumble, he rolled over and pinned me down onto the bed, pressing himself onto me. His lips curled, and something glinted in his dark gaze.
"If you keep tempting me like this," he said and nudged his hardness against my thighs, "don't forget that a bloodbath has never stopped me."
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