Every single time, it started the same. No matter how often Zane tried to change it, nothing seemed to work. Instead, he found himself trapped in an endless loop that led neither up nor down, left or right.
In twenty years, the world had changed. Everything that was supposed to be bright and lovely turned dark.
How could Zane forget? Watching a body drop made his entire world stop for the first time in his life. His blood ran cold as he tried to process what happened. The mafia boss could feel it. He could smell the scent of blood and fear. It had been his fault. He should've taken everything more seriously than he had.
"Zane. Haven't I told you before that you shouldn't sleep outside in this weather?" That scolding... Zane's mind flickered, straining to hear it again. Something about it made his heart flutter. As the warmth got closer, every once of pain and tension dissipated from his body as an all-too-familiar hand touched his cheek. Surely this wasn't a dream. That touch felt far to real for it to have come from some make-believe world. Zane had experienced those and they'd never felt anything like this. No dream could fake the warmth that was left behind on his face from the gentle hand touch.
"You're going to teach our kids bad habits. I'll absolutely blame you if they get sick for doing such things." Zane tried to will his eyes open to see who was talking. He needed to know who the owner was and why he couldn't recall who the owner of such a honey-smooth voice.
Except when Zane opened his mouth to ask, no words came out. Only wordless sounds and the feeling of something stuck in his throat.
Like some non-stop film, the voice and too vague memories kept rolling. Zane could only listen and do his best to try and remember. He couldn't interact or respond no matter how he tried or wanted.
No voice, no vision. How in the hell was he supposed to discover who the person was? The mafia boss could hear them talking, but he couldn't answer or acknowledge them. What kind of sick joke was this?
To be so close to something that which lights up his entire world but unable to talk with it was torture. Torture didn't seem as though it would be going away any time soon.
Zane could almost even feel the other's person's touch across his skin. Their breath on his ear. Butterfly kisses over his cheeks each time he was scolded, laughed at, or cooed upon.
"You do need to think about waking up soon. It's nice that we can chat like this, but I don't think it's quite a time for me to be keeping you yet." With those words, the warmth Zane had been enjoying began to dissipate. Waking up? Hadn't he been awake this entire time? Surely everything that had been taking place wasn't some dream. It felt too real or good to be anything but reality.
Even if it did turn out to be a dream, what if he wasn't ready to go yet? He still hadn't figured out who the owner of the voice was. He knew they were someone he never wanted to let go of again. Surely that was reason enough for him not to be pushed back into the world where they no longer existed.
"I really wish we could stay here together more and talk. We both know, though, that someone back on the outside needs you more than me. At least for right now, they do." Zane felt his heart clench at the change of the tone. Sorrow overtook the joy that had been once there.
"There will come a time when we will be together again. Right now isn't that time, though. You need to go back and continue caring for what was ours until then." No! It was too soon yet. How could he go when he hadn't even be been able to say anything yet?
"I don't think so. Twenty years. Twenty cold years without you, and you want me to return already?" The words came out harsh and chopped as the mafia boss forced them around his unwilling-to-move lips.
"Only five for you and twenty years with them. It hardly seems fair that I should have to give you up again already—my dear dove. We have spent so much time apart. I don't think I want to do that again." Except, it became clear that Zane didn't have much choice in the matter. Finally, he found the will to move his hand now that he could talk. Except, it never contacted the person he wanted to touch most.
Like a cloud buffeted by the wind, Zane felt himself being pushed further away from the source of warmth. Fight as hard as he might; he couldn't do anything against the force that pushed him further and further away.
"I already told you, darling, now isn't the time. You still need to go back and take care of some things. There's someone still that you need to keep away as well." Keep away? Zane didn't care about that at the current moment. Why should he? The outside world was hardly his problem so long as he stayed in this place.
Surely everyone on the outside would be able to handle all the important matters. Wasn't it fair that he finally got something he wanted for once? The mafia boss had always been the one to handle all the difficult things up until this point.
Keep someone away? Zane could only feel his eyes getting heavier as he resisted the pull to go back. No one came to mind that he needed to deal with. The only thoughts that flooded his mind were those of the one he wanted to be with more than anything.
Just for once, could he not get what he wanted? Even for a short while?
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