Chapter 162 - Always Be Safe
Cage had to say, he didn't know how people in BDSM relationsh.i.p.s handled it. He felt like he had run a marathon and he was considered fit. There was silence for a long time and he almost thought that she had fallen asleep.
"Hey, Katherine?" he asked, breaking the silence.
"Hmm?" she mumbled.
"Did you enjoy it?" he asked softly. He sure hoped she did because he was rather confused himself.
"I saw my idol Cage Cavanaugh in full light. I am inexplicably happy," she said. She cuddled into him, running her nose over his chest and breathing in his scent.
'He smells like me,' she thought with a goofy smile.
"Apart from that. Which part did you like and what did you dislike?"
She thought about it for a moment before she replied. "I was actually confused about how it was going to go at first and frankly a little scared," she admitted.
"You should have told me." His voice almost broke. Did he rope her into doing something she didn't want to? Because that would be a shitty thing to do and he knew better than that. He was carefully mulling it over and going through every step.
"No. I really enjoyed it, though. I didn't think I would like being spanked that much." She smirked. "Of course, you know because I was dripping." He sighed.
"Aren't you always?" he said playfully, hoping he could overcome his guilt. She slapped his chest, giving a fake gasp of offense. "Sorry," he chuckled. "What did you dislike?"
"I didn't dislike any of it. As I said, I was a little confused. I loved the scene we played out and your voice and your actions. But I want a little more clarity. I am not sure if orgasm control is my cup of tea." The admission was true. He hummed in acknowledgment. "You have a lot running through your mind. Tell me. We can talk this out." From the way he had started this conversation, it seemed like there was something he particularly disliked about the whole thing.
Katherine stopped herself from panicking. Just because he didn't like something didn't mean that 'she' had done something wrong. It could be multiple things. So, she took a cleansing breath and waited for him to say more.
"I know what you mean. I didn't plan out everything and I was flipping between doing something in one moment and something else in the next. I confused you quite a bit..." he trailed off.
"I didn't think you were flopping between anything. In all honesty, I don't know about you, but it was a first for me and I felt very comfortable sharing this scene with you. You made sure that I was okay with the scene if I looked like I was out of it or panicking and you really tried to get across to me." She really hoped he didn't put the blame on himself.
"It was a first for me, as well." He paused. "Actually, I don't think the whole dominant thing is my cup of tea... at least not the bit about punishment. When you yelped in pain, I felt like a piece of shit who was hurting my girlfriend because it made me feel powerful or some s.e.x.u.a.l pleasure." The guilt in his voice was so evident that Katherine had to stop and really think about what she was going to say next. Her next words could cause a lot of hurt if she didn't frame it properly.
"Why don't you think of it in a different way? We mutually decided to act out this fantasy to see if we enjoyed it. Punishment was part of it. Though it hurt mildly, I enjoyed it thoroughly. In my eyes, you only responded the way you did because you caught onto my arousal."
"Yes, you enjoyed it, but the second part of the sentence... I don't really know." He was grumbling. She sat up, her n.a.k.e.d body rising over his. She looked down at him, her hair framing her face and falling down to hover over his. He blinked blankly, stunned by her for a second before he regained his conscious thoughts.
"You gave me safewords. If it hurt, I would have bailed out. If I was uncomfortable, I would have bailed out. I liked it. I wanted to see it through. And you wanted to see it through."
"I don't know if you noticed... I forgot to put on a condom the first time I..." He sighed. He didn't know how to say it. He hadn't realized it at first and had thrust inside her for so long. He had almost c.u.m inside her.
"I don't think I was in a state to notice," she chuckled. "It's okay, we'll go to the clinic and get tested for everything, okay?" He startled.
"I didn't mean-" he started, thinking he had screwed up. He stopped him in his track.
"Cage, stop. I know you didn't mean it that way. It's only responsible for us to get tested before we stop using protection. I'll check in with my doctor about my pills as well. We should always be safe." He pressed his lips to her hair and thanked god. He hadn't exactly thought a lot about responsibility because he was focused on her. He was very lucky to have someone who was levelheaded and thought things through.
Now that he thought about it, he had been uber careful throughout his life and made sure not to make any mistakes, but when it came to Katherine, he was more relaxed and going with the flow. He felt at ease being with her, and frankly, while others might have thought that they were losing control, he enjoyed it immensely. He felt alive for the first time in years.
"Okay." The conversation seemed to have come to an end. "Do you want to do it again?" he asked. He would do it if she had enjoyed it.
"Only if you want to. We'll set boundaries and slowly ease into it if you think that is what you want." She combed her hand through his hair, trying to reassure Cage.
"We do have a lot of time on our hands," he said with a smile. The light was still on and the two of them were too lazy to get up and switch it off. Katherine hummed to him until their breaths synchronized and the two fell asleep.
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