Chapter 312 [Intermission] A medieval booty call?
(POV: Lumiere)
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After ensuring that Stellaria was peacefully asleep in her room, I made my way back to the large dining hall. There, I found Lilith, Senesica, and Dendrossa all seated at the table, indulging in their meal. Lilith's eyes lit up as she spotted me, and she welcomed me with a warm smile.
"Come, join us," she invited, gesturing to the empty seat beside her.
For some reason, I just felt like this was going to escalate to something sexual again.
To be honest, I did enjoy the Naked Diplomacy thing...
Jeez, why am I even saying this...
When did I become such a sex addict dammit.
Hm, no, not really, addiction is a strong word, instead I'll use a reference.
On a usual week, I wouldn?t even think about sex, but because of Isadora I think my tastes changed, by a lot. After she brought that information about the Demon Emperor spanking his wives for skill points, I haven't been able to focus on anything else other than that — well, not spanking specifically, but drilling my female "companions".
I really need a change a pace...
A sigh escaped my lips.
"I appreciate the offer, Lilith, but I'm honestly feeling quite exhausted," I replied, my body yearning for rest.
Dendrossa rubbed her chin and grinned. "You didn't seem so tired when you were drilling Lilith and Senesica though..."
"I... I didn't even..." I turned my face towards another direction and then cleared my throat. "We agreed it was only formal, there's no need to bring it up again..."
Just as I was about to make my way to my own quarters, a familiar weight suddenly settled atop my head. Senesica had once again transformed into her cat form, her vibrant eyes gleaming mischievously. She gracefully stretched out a furry limb and began grooming herself with delicate licks.
"Are you planning to on abandoning three beautiful women...? she purred. "It wouldn't be polite to refuse Lilith's invitation."
"But..."
"No buts, if you're going to sleep with a woman, then you should also have dinner with her too~"
Sighing, I relented, realizing there was no escaping their persuasive tactics. "Alright, fine. I'll join you," I finally agreed, a weary smile pulling on my jaw.
I walked over to the table and took a seat, feeling the fatigue settle in.
As I settled in, my mind drifted to the red demon that had caught my attention earlier.
The one with a mean face, but I couldn't remember his name.
It made me question the perfect memory I was supposed to have. Then again, it was times like these I didn't understand who I was, for all I knew, All-Father could probably be hiding some important information from me.
Whatever...
I turned to Dendrossa, eager to learn more about him.
"By the way, Dendrossa, where's the red guy?" I asked.
Dendrossa raised an eyebrow, clearly amused by my forgetfulness. "The red guy?" she repeated questioningly.
Feeling a tad bit embarrassed, I scratched my head sheepishly. "Hah~ Yeah, sorry about that, I forgot his name."
Senesica, who was still perched on my head, playfully tapped my forehead with her fluffy tail. "Tapas, remember? That's his name," she reminded me.
"Ah, Tapas, right," I murmured, recalling his name.
I turned to Dendrossa, awaiting her response.
"Oh, he's with Skarz at the moment, gathering some cooking tips," Dendrossa informed me casually.
"Cooking tips? What would he need those for?" I questioned, genuinely perplexed by the absurdity of it all.
I wasn't even surprised that Skarz had great culinary skills.
He'd been taking lots of lessons from Serena and Fasit.
And then, after cooking, he'd give it to Mojito to taste and then he'd get a good review. But then I told him if he wanted better reviews, that he should probably give someone who didn't like any kind of food and at the same time was so blunt they'd give you a truthful and concise review like "It's terrible".
The perfect recommendation was Stellaria.
So, Stellaria has been helping him improve his culinary skills by telling him how horrible it was.
But to be honest, He'll never meet her expectations.
Lilith interjected, a bright smile crossing her lips. "Believe it or not, Tapas is an incredible chef," she revealed, amusement dancing in her eyes. "He may not look the part, but his culinary skills are truly remarkable."
"Really?" I raised an eyebrow. "I wouldn't have guessed it."
Lilith chuckled softly. "He gets that a lot," she admitted, her laughter twinkling like music. "But trust me, his talents in the kitchen are undeniable."
I'm sure he cooks well and all, but with how muscular he is and the mean face he always puts on, not to mention the steam that leaves his nose, it's hard for me to imagine how he'd look in an apron.
The thought of it makes my insides turn... Blegh...
And then all of a sudden, Dendrossa decided to ignite a fire.
"If anything, the one who really needs those cooking tips is Senesica," she teased.
In her cat form, Senesica's golden eyes narrowed into slits as her fangs shot out and her fur stood on end. A low, menacing hiss escaped her as she prepared to defend her culinary honor.
Dendrossa, remaining the sharp-tongued demoness she was simply smirked in response. "In fact, I'd go so far as to say that Senesica's cooking is worse than terrible."
Lilith, sensing the impending clash, let out a weary sigh. "Can we perhaps avoid a fight?" she pleaded.
She was the only, normal one here?
Senesica too, sometimes...
Nevertheless, I chose to step in, wanting to diffuse the situation.
I had experience in handling large disputes between women, it wasn't my first time after all.
"Dendrossa, could you, yunno, ease up a bit on the reviews?" I requested.
Dendrossa let out a boisterous laugh.
Should've known that wouldn't work
"Oh, but I just remembered the time Senesica followed me to Degzed," she reminisced. "She was the one who made the meal for everyone, and let me tell you, it was so horrible that if all the Demon Kings didn't have resistance to poison, they'd have probably died."
Senesica, unable to contain her protest, let out a strident meow. "That's not true!" she exclaimed. "The water I used to cook wasn't good, and you know it, meow~~!"
For some reason, I found that oddly cute...
A small giggle left my mouth.
Dendrossa chuckled. "Unless the water you used was acid, there's no way the food would taste that bad," she retorted, her smirk widening.
Lilith, her hand delicately placed over her mouth, couldn't suppress a giggle. "Even Demon King Glacius called it hot garbage, and he eats rocks of ice for breakfast," she chimed in.
"Glacius sucks to be honest..." Dendrossa murmured.
I, desperately trying to keep the peace, calmly interjected. "Lilith not make this any worse, please."
But Dendrossa, never one to back down, raised her voice defiantly.
"I could literally poop on a plate and make something way better than Senesica, BAHAHAHAHAH!!"
To hold my puke I covered my mouth. "Real classy..." I mentioned.
"There's no way you just said that..." Lilith took another bite of her meal.
Sensicas's eyes flashed with fury, her cat-like features contorting into an expression of pure rage. In a split second, she launched herself from my head, her claws outstretched, and landed squarely on Dendrossa's face. Dendrossa let out a scream as Senesica's claws dug deep into her pale skin, leaving behind marks of her wrath.
The fight between the two was a went on for hours.
Lilith and I tried to break them apart but we just suffered damage as well.
Eventually, after what felt like an eternity, we managed to separate them, both panting and covered in scratches.
By this time, it was a little over midnight.
We all decided to retire for the night.
Each of us made our way back to our respective rooms.
Just as I was about to enter my room, a faint voice reached my ears, causing me to freeze in place.
"Lumiere~~"
It was the lewdest voice I'd ever heard. Something about it was just so godforsakenly sexy.
Curse my enhanced hearing.
The source of the voice led me to the Silva Onsen, one of the more secluded spots within the Silva Citadel.
And was it a coincidence that I just had sex there...?
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