Chapter 291 Two “sisters” alone? (V)
White Dragon Labyrinth Exploration Arc.
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(POV: Akashic Records)
It was a hard pill for Lumila to swallow, but she mustered up the courage to confess to her younger self.
"I... I miss Elise," she admitted.
Little Lumila looked up at her with wide eyes, there was hope in her gaze.
"So...you regret giving up on our friendship with Elise?" she asked.
The sadness in her voice was enough for even someone as emotionally blunt as Lumila to pick up.
Unless maybe it was because she knew herself better than anyone else.
Lumila sighed, her heart heavy with the weight of their past mistakes.
She knelt down, placing a gentle hand on her younger self's shoulder.
"I don't think there's any taking back what we did back then," she said, her voice filled with regret. "Losing Elise's friendship was something we both suffered."
Little Lumila's eyes filled with tears as she lowered her head. "I guess you still hate me," she whispered.
Lumila's heart ached at the words. "No," she replied, her voice firm yet filled with self-doubt. "I hate myself... and..."
She hooked, having no other words to say.
Hating herself still meant hating little Lumila and when all was summed up in the end — little Lumila's observation was spot on.
They knew what was in each other's hearts.
Silence settled between them, the heaviness of their shared guilt and pain hung on both their chests. Lumila searched for the right words, unsure of how to mend their fractured relationship. Finally, she spoke, her tone sincere.
"There's still a chance to repair our friendship with Elise," she said softly.
But little Lumila's eyes filled with frustration, anger tainted her voice.
"That's a lie!" she exclaimed, her voice cracking with emotion. "If there was still a chance, then why did you rip the scarf we gave Elise? The one thing she treasured more than anything else!"
Suddenly, the memory of Elise tearing the scarf flashed before Lumila's eyes. The pain etched on Elise's face struck Lumila to her core.
Lumila's voice trembled as she tried to form the words.
"I... I didn't mean to tear the scarf, I was just... I was just angry. I forgot how much it meant to Elise," she whispered.
Her expression showed absolute regret.
But little Lumila's eyes flashed with anger and she shouted.
"There's no need for excuses! We don't even deserve a shred of Elise's forgiveness! We were so blind, so oblivious to her pain! We couldn't even tell when she was crying out for help and dying inside!"
"Dying inside?" Lumila repeated.
Her heart twisted at the thought of Elise suffering in silence.
The guilt consumed her as she realized she had failed to see the signs, failed to understand Elise's pleas for their sisterly bond to be restored.
Little Lumila scoffed.
"Up till now, you still can't see it, huh? All those times she said 'I'm sorry'... it wasn't weakness, Lumila. It was her way of trying to remind us of our connection, of our love. And we completely missed it. The secret code we promised not to forget... we forgot it..."
"No..." Lumila gasped, her hand instinctively clutching her chest.
A sharp pain pierced her heart, a physical manifestation of the guilt and realization overwhelming her.
Elise wasn't apologizing consistently due to her own shortcomings.
No.
"She... she was actually crying out for our help..."
Little Lumila nodded, her expression filled with sadness.
"Maybe you haven't noticed it... but the only one who can tell you the truth is me," she said softly. "You're behaving more like father than your usual self."
Lumila's eyes widened in realization, memories flooding back.
She remembered how she had lashed out at Elise for showing her emotions, berating her for what she perceived as weakness.
But Elise had simply been reaching out, desperate for their support.
"I'm... I'm a horrible person," Lumila choked out. "I... I know more than anyone else that Elise hates being alone... and I left her alone in the labyrinth."
"Alone in the labyrinth?" Little Lumila's voice was filled with sadness as she went on, "No... It's worse than that. We've left her alone for over ten years. We've let her suffer all this time."
In the pitch-black abyss, Lumila found herself seated on an imaginary floor, her thoughts consumed by guilt and self-loathing. Little Lumila, her younger self, sat beside her, her small form radiating sadness and despair.
"There's no way Elise will ever forgive us... I can't even forgive myself for what I've done to her," Little Lumila murmured, her voice quivering with remorse.
Lumila closed her eyes, desperately trying to calm her racing heart.
Slowly, she took in deep breaths, a true feat amidst the heavy atmosphere.
Finally, with a slightly forced smile, Lumila approached little Lumila and placed a gentle hand on her tiny shoulder.
"Maybe... maybe to truly forgive ourselves, we have to start by forgiving each other," she suggested.
It was confusing and simple at the same time.
Little Lumila turned to her, her eyes wide with confusion.
"Each other?" she repeated, unsure of what Lumila meant.
Lumila nodded slowly.
"Yes, Lu... Me. You and I might share the same heart, but our frustrations and anger were built from different experiences. I, the older version, neglected Elise and destroyed any chance of friendship, while you, the younger version, wanted to keep the bond strong but were influenced by others."
Little Lumila turned to face Lumila directly, her eyes searching for answers.
"So... what do we do now?" she asked
Lumila met her gaze, her expression sincere. "Like I said, we forgive each other," Lumila replied firmly.
She extended her trembling hand for a handshake, looking little Lumila straight in the eye.
"Beating ourselves up and hating ourselves only serves to fulfill the wishes of our father and everyone else who doubted our friendship with Elise. It's time to break free from that cycle."
Little Lumila hesitated for a moment, her tiny hand hovering in the air.
But, after a deep breath, she reached out and clasped Lumila's hand in hers.
Their fingertips touched, the connection symbolizing the first step towards healing their broken bond.
"The first step to rebuilding a friendship is, well... the first step," Lumila whispered.
Little Lumila, her grip growing firmer, nodded in agreement.
Together, they sat in the darkness, their hands entwined, ready to move on.
In the blink of an eye, Lumila found herself transported back to the familiar garden. The soft petals of the grass brushed against her as she scrambled to her feet.
Heart racing, she searched desperately through the vibrant foliage, her mind calling out for Elise's presence.
"Elise! Elise!" she cried out, the words echoing in her mind.
As Lumila raced through the garden, her desperation growing, a glimmer of hope flickered within her. And then, there she was, standing steadfast in the very spot Lumila had left her. Elise, dressed in the same worn scarf around her neck, looked at Lumila with surprise. It seemed as though time had stood still for her. Lumila paused for a moment, the weight of regret heavy in her chest, and finally found her voice.
"Elise... you're still... here," she stammered.
Elise's gaze remained fixed on Lumila, her eyes searching for answers.
"I... I'm sorry... It's just, you told me whenever I was lost, that I should just wait in one spot and hope that you come..."
Tears welled up in Lumila's eyes, her voice cracking with remorse.
"You didn't have to... wait for me. You didn't have to have faith in someone as terrible as me," she muttered.
"A... Are you okay, Lumila?"
"Y... Yeah... I am..."
Elise tilted her head slightly, studying Lumila intently. "But...you're crying," she observed softly.
Lumila choked on her own sobs, her voice trembling as she replied, "Yeah... everything's perfect, absolutely fine..."
In a rush of emotions, Lumila closed the distance between them, enveloping Elise in a tight embrace.
Startled, Elise stuttered, her words barely forming.
"Lumila... You're... Hugging me..."
Lumila held onto her even tighter, burying her face in Elise's shoulder.
"Just shut up and hug me," she whispered, tears seeping from her eyes.
Elise, slowly raising her arms, hesitantly wrapped them around Lumila, mirroring the embrace.
Lumila's voice, muffled against Elise's shoulder, broke through the silence.
"I've missed you, sister," she murmured.
Tears streamed down Elise's cheeks as she whispered back, "I've missed you too."
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