I was delighted to no end. This was the first time in this forsaken world I found something to latch onto. Even though I knew my grasp over the magic, the vital energy, was superficial, I couldn't control my emotion from running wild.
That was probably why I was having trouble getting the same vibe again, coming back to my quarters.
But I knew I wouldn't be stopped this way. No matter the price, I would get that vibe again. Thankfully, the biggest price for this seemed to be only my sleep for the night.
Even though it might create trouble for my day's work, I carried on with the meditation because this was more important, because I deemed it necessary for my sanity and freedom. So I carried on with meditating.
I didn't know when I got the vibe back, but I was certain it was quite late, probably hours past the middle of the night. I didn't remember how and when I felt the energy coursing through my body again, but I almost lost it again with me skidding into celebrations.
Thankfully, I had enough senses to cut off my celebratory dance and focus back on the strand of energy. However, as I started, an impaling migraine started to grow in my head. It felt like a fiery needle pinned against my head, drilling in ever so slowly to shove me to the brink of insanity.
"Ugh," I groaned, my voice shivering as the scream escaped from my lips. The pain was more mental than physical, I thought. I tried to escape it by focusing wholeheartedly on my meditation, on the strand of energy, but that was not to be.
Not for today. Before I knew it, I was groaning on the ground. The stabbing pain was still there, as I still held onto the strand of energy. Barely.
I clutched the collar in my neck with the intention of ripping it off, but I knew I didn't have the power to do it. And even if I had that power, it would kill me first before I could rip it apart.
There were only two things I could have done at that moment. Give up and drown in self-pity and the misery of enslavement, or hold on to the energy and drown in the excruciating stabbing pain in my head.
Both paths were filled with misery, while one was slow and long-term, the other was instantaneous. Of course, there was no assurance of success in the instantaneous misery as well.
But my choice was firm. I chose instantaneous misery. Well, it was the path of freedom and holding onto the energy.
I hold on to it for thirty-two breaths and that was when my vision went black. I fell unconscious, cursing myself for my incapability and at the cruelty.
Then my angel woke me up as I found myself sleeping in her lap. I blinked multiple times, finding her picturesque, serene exterior, looking up. I want to make sure I wasn't simply hallucinating, that she was really here.
As I was blinking and pinching my stomach to make sure it was all real, she opened her mouth for the first time.
"Perhaps it was all a mistake," her voice drifted softly to my ears, "but I can't just pull back after giving someone hope."
That was when I knew I wasn't hallucinating.
"I succeeded," I said, almost tearing up. "I found peace."
"You did," she said, rubbing her soothing palm over my forehead. "Although barely, you succeeded."
"I succeeded," I repeated, tearing up as she held me in place.
It took me more than a couple of minutes, no matter how hard I tried to stop being emotional in front of her. I was a grown man, and it looked bad for our first meeting after that night, which seemed so many days ago.
"It's okay, cry," she said, soothing me, and caressing my hair. "They haven't broken you. You can cry all you want. They don't hold any power over you. No more than you know it already."
Her voice seemed to have a certain magic of healing as I burst louder. She bent her head to soothe me as I cried.
A couple of minutes later, I sat upright, even though I wanted to rest in her lap for all eternity. She sat face to face with me, still with her serene presence, even though a collar of a similar build to mine was latched onto her neck.
I didn't notice it at first glance at first notice the other night, but it seemed her collar was a bit different. An old version, maybe? I didn't know, but I knew for certain she could use vital energy even with the collar latched onto her neck.
I wanted to get into the talk of vital energy right at that moment, but I forced myself to ask a different question that I still don't have an answer to.
"How did you know I succeeded?" I asked, "and came so quick?"
The angelic woman with ebony black hair smiled. "That's a woman's secret," she said. "Perhaps I'll tell you one day if we can get out of the confines."
I nodded, though I thought she would give a straight answer. Well, I had no false impression that someone like her would spy on me. So the answer probably was:
"Magic?" I asked.
"That's an overly simplified explanation," she said, "but fundamentally, yes."
"So, are you going to teach me magic?" I asked, burning with hope.
"Straight to business, huh," the otherworldly woman in slave clothes chuckled. "You don't even want to know about my identity, not even my name?"
I bit my lips to come up with a reply. It came out as something incoherent, jumbling multiple words together.
She smiled. "You look like you're in your late teenage years, but you have the enthusiasm of an early teen," she said. "I guess there's no fault in having some enthusiasm in youth, even when you're a slave."
I frowned. "You talk like you're different."
"I am," the woman laughed. "I may look like I am in my early twenties, but compared to your age, I'm Old."
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