Chapter 36: Battle With The Goblins - Part 2
Beam was soon through his warm-ups and he rolled the second stone, looking over his shoulder to make sure his master was watching. Dominus nodded towards him, and Beam began.
'Well, for this month at least, I suppose stone lifts are fine,' he decided. 'It's barely been a week since he's begun, after all.'
Beam powered through the second stone, looking only slightly more sluggish than he was yesterday. The 16th lift went up fine, but then on the 17th, it was as though he'd misgrooved it somehow, for it looked far harder than the one before and then by the 18th, he could lift it no more, failing halfway through the lift.
"W-why!?" Beam asked in frustration, going up to the stone again for another try, in an attempt to make up for his failure.
"That'll do," Dominus told him from his position by the fire. "Go onto the third stone and give it a go. You've still got running to do after."
Beam bit his lip and clenched his fist, glaring at the second stone unhappily, but he did as he was told and went onto the third. From the look of exhaustion on the boy's face, Dominus could already guess what the results were going to be.
And sure enough, as soon as Beam picked it up, the first lift was extremely slow. It was like he was a different person from yesterday. Then the second and third after were even slower. After the third, he was unable to lift a fourth, despite his best efforts. He pulled on it in frustration, seeming angry enough to break his spine in an attempt to get the results he wanted.
"Leave it there," Dominus told him, finishing his tea as he walked over. "As I said, you can't always improve every day."
"But why!?" Beam asked in frustration, nearly shouting. "Yesterday I could do 20 lifts on the second stone with ease as well as 10 on the third one. How can I get so much weaker in just a day? It doesn't make sense."
Dominus sighed in exasperation. "Nah," he said, shaking his head, "it's your progress up until now that hasn't really made sense. It's a rarity that you can improve so many days in a row, especially with the size of your improvements. That's what doesn't make sense."
"But why would it stop all of a sudden?" Beam asked, looking like he was ready to cry, his frustration welling up. "It really doesn't make sense. How can I have that much momentum and not only does it slow, but I suddenly get weaker? Isn't that weird?"
"Beam," Dominus said sternly. Beam flinched and looked at him. "Even by conventional training methods – what they teach the young squires as they're coming up – it's logical to assume that the day after a big lift your performance will be worse. Why? Because you're exhausted. That's the logical conclusion."
"But even after getting beat up, I set such massive new records. That doesn't make sense, does it?" Beam pointed out.
"You're right, that doesn't make sense. That's why I speak of progress like a river. It is not merely the result of logic. It is not merely the summation of rest and effort. It's a law all by itself. And believe me, whilst I understand your frustration – getting worse after putting so much effort in – I expect better," Dominus told him sharply.
"I understand…" Beam started to say.
"No. You don't," Dominus cut him off gruffly. You've hardly been training any time at all. If such a small step back after such a small amount of dedication – if that's enough to get you this upset, then your heart isn't ready for the cruel reality of progress."
Beam gulped.
"Your impatience, whilst a quality that is necessary for ambition, it will wound you and it will hinder you if you do not get a grasp on it. The longer you go at this game, the more it's going to take each time to improve. As I've said before, there can be periods of several years where you know you're performing at a worse level than you have in the past, despite all your training. Such is merely the cruelty of the Goddess of progress. Harden your heart boy, bring your mind back to the present."
Beam breathed in deeply and nodded. In his head, his fantasies these past few days had run away with him, as he imagined just how quickly he could improve if he kept going at this same rate. This first minor obstacle had hit him hard, killing almost all those plans.
"You calmed down now? Good. Take today for what it is. Just as your speed got worse for a time, your strength today got worse. Acknowledge it for what it is – the foundation for greater and even more impressive progress,"
"I'll do my best," Beam told him, before rubbing his head and apologizing embarrassedly. "Sorry… I might have gotten ahead of myself a bit. I guess I was being greedy."
"Greed is necessary for ambition – you were merely being impatient," Dominus told him. "Come now, let's see what state your running is in."
What Dominus didn't add is that progress, as far as Beam was concerned, shouldn't exist. With the curse of Ingolsol so powerfully attached to him, he shouldn't be able to progress at. He should never have been able to cross the Second Boundary, but now that he was there, things were even stranger.
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