Chapter 30: A Day With the Dungeon’s New Residents
Editor: Sebas Tian, Joker, Speedphoenix
“What the heck, Yuki!?” Illuna crossed her arms and puffed out her cheeks in a cute display of anger and dissatisfaction. “Why are they here!?”
“W-Well, they said they wanted to stay. I was kind of the one that brought them all the way out here, so it’s not like I can turn them down, you know?” I, on the other hand, was stuck sitting on my own knees. The pose I took was a traditional Japanese pose of self reflection, the so called seiza. Of course, I hadn’t taken it of my own will. Rather, it was exactly the opposite. Illuna knew the purpose of the pose given the number of times that I had forced our resident dragon into it, and thus, she had demanded for me to take it as I justified the decisions I made in her absence.
“I’m very happy you came to save me,” she pouted. “But I don’t remember telling you that it was okay for you to take mistresses!”
“Uhm, s-sorry…? I guess?”
Wait… why’s she mad at me again? Both new hires remained silent as they gazed upon the scene. It was evident from the looks in their eyes and the expressions on their faces that the interaction between the young vampire and I had warmed their hearts. Come on! Can’t one of you at least try to explain the situation to her!? God damn it!
“Geez!” she complained. “I never knew you were such a cheater! Lefi’s okay, but…That’s it!”
“Now you hol’up real quick lil’ miss Illuna, ‘cause me thinks you be havin’ some serious misunderstandings,” I said, with a funny accent.
“No I’m not! Lefi taught me all about maids and what they’re for! They exist to make men cheat!” The little girl pointed to the dungeon’s newest residents, two newly appointed maids, in turn as she spoke. That was the title we had ended up giving them after taking their responsibilities into consideration.
“So, Professor Lefi, mind explaining why you’re corrupting this young child’s mind?”
“What? I have done no such thing. I merely described to her the extent of a maid’s duties,” claimed the Supreme Dragon.
…And now I see the problem. Lefi actually thinks sex is part of the job description.
“Not at all,” I denied. “That’s all just prejudice on your part. Sure, that kinda stuff does happen from time to time, but you really shouldn’t be lumping maids in with sex workers.”
“I-It’s okay Master!” Lyuuin, the dog girl, began to nervously swing her hips from left to right as her face flushed a shade of crimson. “I-I don’t think I’ll be any good at it ‘cause my body’s a bit lackin’ as far as proportions go, but I’ll gladly offer myself to you so long as y’keep lettin’ me serve Lord Fluffrir!”
“What the actual fuck!? I could swear that I literally just said I didn’t intend on making you do stuff like that!”
The other maid, Leila, watched over the entire event with an entertained smile.
“Oh boy…” I couldn’t help but heave a heavy sigh as I once again attempted to solve the misunderstanding that the dog eared maid had only deepened.
***
It had taken a while, but I eventually managed to calm Illuna down and teach her that maids and concubines were not the same thing. And so, with that out of the way, I finally began briefing our two newest residents about their new home and the duties they would attend. It was imperative that they understood what it meant to be employed by the dungeon as a corporation.
“Anyway, to reiterate, I’d like you guys to be the dungeon’s maids. I’ve been stuck doing all the chores so far, and it’s sucked, so I’m hoping you guys will be able to ease my load a bit.” I began by elaborating on the corporate structure (1 demon lord, 1 supreme dragon, 1 little girl, and 2 pets) before moving onto duties (killing monsters, growing the dungeon, lazing around, and playing house with the resident little girl).
That said, the first and second duties had already fallen onto the backburner. There wasn’t much of a point in actively hunting for monsters unless I really wanted something off the catalogue. Likewise, the dungeon’s territory didn’t require all that much management either. It was growing at a fairly steady rate over time due to all my passive income.
Moreover, I had lately acquired a much greater means of killing time in the form of board games. Lefi and Illuna had only recently memorized most games’ rules, so we’d been spending a good bit of time playing through them. Alright newbies, you better learn those rules ASAP. ‘Cause you know, the more the merrier and all that.
As they’d officially become the dungeon’s residents, neither of the two girls were wearing the same rags they’d come in with any longer. I’d given them a set of maid uniforms, and not the kind you’d find in the part of Tokyo where people who loved the two dimensional roamed the streets. Rather than short and skimpy as possible, their uniforms were prim and proper. They were classy, formal, and of course, items I had procured through the dungeon’s catalogue. God damn, catalogue bro, you are one helluva sinful man. Being able to make stuff like this definitely marks you a degenerate beyond redemption.
“I think that covers everything.”
“I believe you may have missed something,” said Leila, as she tilted her head in confusion. “You didn’t mention anything about our nightly duties. What will we have to d—”
“Nothing.” I cut her off before she was able to finish. Please stop. We kinda have young children present here, you know? And besides, I’m a man. And like any other man, I’m going to find it really hard to resist my urges if you keep tempting me. Especially with that super hot bod of yours. Like hot damn. Dem tits. Dat ass.
“Anyways.” I faked a cough. “You guys are pretty much bound to run into all sorts of things you’ve never seen before lying around here and there. Please ask around if you don’t know how something works. Your room will be the one you used last night. And, that should be about it. Any questions?”
The room I mentioned was one I added the night before. Illuna, Lefi, and I had always just slept in the throne room with our beds lined up right next to each other’s. I suspected that it would feel a bit cramped if we added the maids to the mix, so I decided to make them a room. Of course, I extended the same offer to the other girls, but neither had really wanted one, so I hadn’t bothered. At least for the time being.
I had been planning to do some heavy renovations soon anyway, so I decided that I might as well put off making their rooms until I started with those. Plus, I’ve kinda been wanting a room myself. There are many reasons a young man might want his own room, not all of which need to be said.
“What’s this, Master?” The wolf girl curiously picked up a nearby object.
“A thin black thing will come out if you press the clicky part at the top. You can use that to write.”
“Wow! This magic item of yours sure does seem handy!”
Ah, yes. The mighty magically enchanted item from Earth we call a mechanical pencil.
“And what would this be, My Lord?” Like Lyuuin, Leila also regarded a nearby prop with her gaze full of curiosity.
“That’s just a toy. It’s one Lefi likes a lot, so I’m sure she’ll be willing to teach you all about it once she’s up.”
I glanced at the Supreme Dragon, only to once again confirm that she was passed out in bed. She had been awake earlier in the morning, but went right back to sleep the moment she finished her meal. Well… I mean I guess she did work a lot harder than usual last night, so I guess I may as well turn a blind eye to that excessive laziness of hers. For now.
“Oh yeah,” I turned to Leila, the sheep horned girl, as I suddenly thought up a question I thought she might be able to answer. “Just what are demon lords to demons anyway?”
“Humans have referred to our leaders as demon lords, but that isn’t quite right. We demons consider demon lords as creatures that lord over and have had their bodies forged anew by labyrinths.”
Labyrinths? I guess that must be what she calls dungeons.
“What do you mean by ‘forged anew?’”
“Becoming a demon lord is like being reborn, in a sense. The best way to explain this would be to use an example,” she explained. “If a goblin were to become a labyrinth’s ruler, then it would come to possess abilities outside the realm of what the goblin race is capable of. Thus, the demon lord can no longer be classified as a goblin. It would be much more correct to label it a whole new race, one created with a goblin as its base.”
Oh, I get it. So I guess that makes me a demon lord with its powers funneled into the body of an archdemon. I’m pretty sure it’d be fair to say that the demon lord part of me is where most of my abilities come from.
“You sure are well informed, Leila. I might be asking you more stuff like this in the future,” I said. I don’t actually know all that much about this world. My impressions pretty much all stem from my own preconceived biases, so I doubt they’ll prove very accurate.
“N-Not at all,” replied Leila. “I-I’m glad I was able to help.”
“Hmm…?” For some odd reason, she seemed kind of flustered, or maybe even panicked. “Anyway, let’s do our best to get along. Make sure you let me know if you need anything.”
And so, two new employees were added to the dungeon’s corporate roster.
***